SPRing

Sure there is groundhogs day and calendars of all type and whatnot but the real indicator of springs imminent return is the countless fireworks coupon emails that flood my inbox.

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SHEESH

How you supposed to get anything done around here?

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JAY SON DOJO

Just in case I ever get invited to the 'All Valley TORNament' I thought I might need a logo to sew onto my outfit. The Jay Son Dojo has a long history of face punching, but with feet.

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Monkeys

It didn’t take long into the Eocene for things to heat up.

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SOAP BAR NUBS

What’s the highest number of soap-bar nubs you’ve smashed together to make a mutant mega bar?

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HOLIDAY BETTING

We don’t know any of the people in the building next to ours but can see in all their apartments really well. So we’re setting up a little racket of laziness. Girl is the bookie crunching odds and setting spreads.

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EOY REFLECTIONS

I was going to add ‘Crushing metal riffs’ but I had already gotten to 4.

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INVERSE BELL CURVE

Haven’t driven much this year but I’m noticing something. People with really shit cars drive the same way people with really fancy cars do... Terribly... #terribledrivers

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CAMP JAY

Since it's cold out now I thought I'd turn my thoughts to my new summer camp idea. The following workshops will be available but hurry because classes are filling fast:

- Fireworks

- Slingshot Range

- Tunnels & Forts

- Trebuchet for home use

- The Ins & Outs but no Snouts of Beef Jerky Making

- Naps (with special instructor and Olympic medalists in napping and ignoring text messages: Anthony Bagnara)

- Slurking & Night Creepin' the lost art

- Slug Racing & Husbandry

- Drum Circles (Beginner and Advanced sessions so us drummers don't have to suffer through your dumb shit)

- Woods Fashion & Festival Wear, How did we get here?

- Pine Cone Liquor, Dos and Don'ts with Dani Brei

- Dancing with Snakes, Non-denominational of course

- Witch Sticks. Which Witch Stick is right for you?

See you all in July.

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LUNAR PATROL

Probably won’t leave the house again till 2085, and by then it’ll be on the moon.

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